Closer to Mari again.
It is really hard to be the Taygetan Queen.
Video 3.

Hello.
Thank you for being here with me once more.
I hope you are very well today.
I am Mari.
Welcome to my channel.
I take my information very seriously and for whoever has eyes to see.
I am writing this in English on the morning of June 15, 2025.

There is no reason why I am writing this essay for this video.
It is not part of any sequence, and it may only serve as part of the context surrounding
everything going on, here and down there.
I am writing this because I need to, at a personal level, I want to share with you how I live
and how I must face things while I am at my post, role or job, so see it as a rant or
as you see best, and if the subject serves you.
This also comes because very big and difficult things just happened, and they started right
before my last Space News video, so they didn't make it into it.
They started right before I placed it as a premier last Friday, and as you were there chatting
with your friends, alarms were going off here.
When I was running back and forth between the bridge of my ship and its combat information
center, or CIC deck, I can't share what is going on in this video because it is not
its purpose, and I can't either, because things are still in progress, and it would be unwise
to share incomplete events and speculations about them.
I know I already shared a similar video months ago, so I may repeat a few things in this
one, mainly because I cannot remember everything I said before, or because it may be relevant
to mention those again here.

Ok, I'll start the subject.
I am 17 years old and under a lot of stress, yet I am coping with it, although because of
that, I am not in very good health, as I haven't recovered completely from all that happened
to me during the last months of last year.
I felt that much of that stress first came from the doubt and disapproval of many people
up here about my capacity to be the queen, simply because of my age, yet many other people
did back me up and did believe in me, as up here outside Earth.
Reincarnation and past life memories which may bring a lot more mental maturity and knowledge
to people even while young, is fully accepted as a fact.
Taygetans, among other star races, don't really keep track of time and events like people
do on Earth.
I don't see why they couldn't, so I think it is more of a cultural thing.
I mean, I even forgot when it will be the anniversary of my first year as the Queen.
I have given and done everything that I can to be the best queen possible in this first
year, and always, and I feel the results of my work have silenced the words of
doubt coming from those who, at least initially, opposed me.
But this has come at a cost to my general health, because I am still very skinny after having
lost a lot of weight at the end of last year.
And it has been very challenging to gain any, so I only weigh 48 kilograms or 105 pounds,
which is not much for a girl who is 169 cm tall, or five feet six and a half inches,
if my calculations are correct.

One of my biggest problems or issues here is my food, even though I am supposed to be
allowed to eat almost anything I want.
The problem with food is that I cannot eat freely, because there is always the danger
that someone may try to poison me, so everything I eat has to go through a machine that detects
toxins first, it's something like a spectrometer.
This alone makes it bothersome and complicated to grab a bite, as even a potato chip must
be analyzed first.
This is just one level of the security I have around me all the time, and even if my crew
here is completely elite and trustworthy, the food contamination may have come from somewhere
in the supply chain, more so if something is coming from Earth, as it mostly does.
Contents of pesticides and artificial flavors or chemicals found in Earth's food trigger
the machine, yet it has been programmed to tolerate them to a certain degree.
Although even I felt that this was and is too much of an exaggeration in safety protocol.
It was proven not to be so just last week, when my machine triggered a red alarm when
I was going to eat my meal, which included mashed potatoes.
My food was taken to be further analyzed while I was given another serving without the
potatoes, which I consumed very reluctantly and with no enjoyment.
It was initially thought that my food analyzer was triggered by simple natural potato toxins,
those which are found in them when they are too ripe, or when they start to sprout, among
other conditions, and which can be quite dangerous, so I didn't worry much at first.
The problem is that my onboard laboratories detected the presence of an elaborate genetically
engineered smart toxin in the potatoes, designed to attack only me.
These smart toxins were found in only one box of potatoes, which came from Temmer and
not from Earth.
Therefore we then knew that there are still agents infiltrated in our planets back home.
Back in Taygeta, the security around the supplies that are to be brought here has been maximized
since then, and whoever attempted against me, and who had access to advanced technology
in laboratories, is still at large.
This is the third attempt against my life in my first year as the Taygetan Queen, and
I hate being soft with those last words because of YouTube's algorithms against violence,
even though they love to allow horrible things when they come from official sources such
as news channels.
Besides not being able to eat, thus making it impossible for me to gain weight as every
bite is over complicated, I also suffer from a very strict loss of freedom in general.
There is a special forces outpost right next to my room, and even as I write these words,
there are no less than, four guards outside my door.
Guards that follow me around as my shadows everywhere I go inside this ship.
Even though it is full of the highest level, trust were the elite crew members from Taygeta.
The only time I don't have guards with me and I can have some privacy is when I am here
inside my room, which is like a little four room flat, or when I motor in my hanger that
is isolated and inaccessible to anyone else but me.
Yes, I like motor sports because it relaxes my mind from everything I constantly have
in it, because I must concentrate while driving or riding, and because motoring connects
me to Earth, and my childhood there, I guess.
I see it as therapeutic because it silences the mind monkey and allows me to think more
clearly after a few fast laps.
Although my fingers are itching on my keyboard with the need to tell you guys which type of
vehicles I have in use, I was told that it is unwise to share that information at this
time, not sure why.
I've got nothing fancy though.

Another strong challenge I encounter, which I mentioned in my other video, closer to Mari,
is a great deal of solitude.
Even though I am always surrounded by people who constantly want my attention and for me
to solve all kinds of issues for them, I am close to no one, and I spend most of my time
locked in my room, alone with my music, books, computers, and cat.
It is not fun to walk outside my room if I must always go with, for, guards everywhere,
and that is also impacting my physical condition.
Even though I do swim every day in the pool in my bathroom, nearly all large taygetan
starships have a pool in the bathroom of the best cabins on board.
On Earth, and in some other places as well, such as Antaria, as I have recently discovered
while talking to Ambassador, Ased Nidia, Kings and Queens are useless, narcissistic trouble
makers, spoiled with luxury and attention, while their lives are fully solved, and I am
being kind to them with these words.
In the case of Antaria, and as, Ased Nidia told me, their king and queen are quite decent
and respectful, educated people, but are only national symbols with no real political
power.
And that explains why I have no direct communication with them, as that would be irrelevant, except
for some protocol event perhaps, as in Antaria, those who really do have power, and who pull
all the strings, are the twelve members of their high council, but that is another subject.
In my case, and ranting here, I must be, everyone's mom.
Taygetan kings and queens do have real political power, but it comes with a very high cost
as the responsibility is also very great.
To the point of collapsing you because of too much workload, much of it you impose upon
yourself because it is your role and your desire to be the best you can be for others.
And this gets a lot worse in my case, because as you know, we are now directly going against
the cabal on Earth, and whoever is handling them on the planet and off planet, because
it is now open war, with shots fired, and besides being the Taygetan queen, I am now
also the commander in chief, because I must oversee everything that is going on while
I give countless action orders.
While I take very difficult decisions, sometimes with only seconds to spare, and if something
goes wrong it would be my fault.
This means that I must constantly have all my attention on having a complete situational
awareness, and that alone is very stressful.
This also stresses my knowledge of strategy, even though my main generals, Gori´el and
Thales, are as involved with everything as I am.
But we do take turns at the helm of events, yet all the really important, essential and
critical decisions must be made only by me.

As my medical doctors, Karez and Zari, insist, I am under too much stress and under too
much workload for a 17-year-old girl who has not yet finished developing.
What can I say about that, as I cannot stop what I am doing, all I can do is try to help
this thin and slender human lyrian body recover from the demands I, myself, impose on it.
I mean, I can't even eat well and freely.
I do have some friends here, naturally, but most of the time they are not even on the
same ship, so everything is remote, although we do play video games online for a short while
to help relax, after the chores are finished, and at the end of the day.

Being the Taygetan Queen is a very demanding and extremely stressful job.
It is not like I have my life solved.
On the contrary, it makes it a lot more complicated and unhealthy, and worst of all, I am expected
to solve everyone else's lives.
Don't get me wrong, I do love the job and would not take any other.
I simply wish I could be even more efficient, and that I could solve the problems that do
hurt me.
At least I clearly know what my job and role in life is, very much contrary to most 17
year olds.

Solitude is perhaps my biggest issue, because as I said above, although I am always surrounded
by people, I am alone inside, and with no real connection with anyone, much less to people
my age, although I do find a very marked difference in mental maturity with those, which causes
a strange gap between me and them.
And then there is the strong and marked barrier that separates me from the rest, a barrier
made of ideas and protocols, because there is always a distinct difference between them,
and me, simply because I am
The Queen.
This, even though I don't want that barrier, I don't believe in those separations because
they make me feel alone.
Although my counsellors and generals insist that it is essential for keeping the needed
respect and the chain of command.
Being the Queen, I don't have many luxuries, perhaps only the pool in my bathroom, and
my motoring deck, which takes up a whole level of this ship, a level that was initially designed
as a service area for small starships and shuttlecraft.
I don't even have a throne, and I don't want one anyway, although I do have two crowns,
both inherited from former Queen Alonym, and which I only use at official events.
But I do get a very nice set of wardrobe, including many beautiful long dresses, mostly
white ones, which I enjoy wearing a lot.
As I am so thin, I mostly wear long dresses for my everyday life, but simple one piece
of models.
Another expected problem I face every day, and this is one which I have failed to mention
in my space news videos.
I don't know why, perhaps because it is so continuously prevalent, is the constant presence
and pressure which comes from the large team of Taygetan journalists who are now embedded
in my fleet, and which demand my constant attention.
This is to be expected and it is natural, I respect their job, after all, how else would
the Taygetan population know what is happening ?
But it does add a lot of stress to my day and at all times, because they demand constant
updates about everything, and as you know, a lot of things are going on, so you can imagine
how I am being almost harassed, as they most of the time behave like paparazzi's.
They do the same to Gori´el, to Thales, and any other high ranking offices in my fleet,
but I am always their primary target.
I know it comes with the job, so I accept it, but it does complicate my daily life even
more, and I haven't mentioned yet the large collection of Taygetan representatives, Council
members, and politicians from all over the place I must talk to constantly, managing
home affairs.
And besides those, I also have to talk to representatives of other races, mostly those
in Earth's orbit, and who many times can be very bothersome and rude, especially at this
time of unrest and conflict here.
Anyhow, thank you for listening to my rant.
I just wanted you to understand me more.
I love you all.
As I said about another subject.
Thank you for watching all the way to this point.
I feel that few people will, as I believe this will not be a popular subject either.
This will be all for today.
As always, thank you for watching my video, and for liking, sharing, and subscribing for
more.
It helps this channel grow a lot.
And I hope to see you here next time.
With much love and appreciation, your friend, Mari.